Tag Archives: maggots in my peanut butter

Ottawa! / Hurricane flying is the best way to fly

I took a Labour Day Weekend trip to Ottawa to visit the fabulous Katherine.   This involved a flight booked for Saturday, which, as it turned out, was a flight booked for Hurricane Tropical Storm Earl Day.  This had numerous, numerous disadvantages, but also a number of awesome, unexpected upsides:

  • Running to the shuttle in the storm because the taxis wouldn’t answer my calls was really, really fun, and I dried off during my three hour wait at the airport.  Also, although the storm blew my skirt up a few times, no one saw because public indecency only occurs when there’s a public around.
  • A downed tree, wrapped in Christmas lights, getting dragged out of the street by a legion of strapping young men: very entertaining sight from the shuttle.
  • The greatest advantage: No lines at the airport!  Seriously, I have never, never had such an experience.  The check-in area was, like, a bunch of bored airline workers standing around at their respective posts and literally only me, alone on the other side of room.  No one in front of me at security, either.  I think every other flight but mine was cancelled.

Ottawa itself was also faboo.  Katherine is trying to sell me on the idea of moving there after I graduate, and I can definitely go for it.  We had excellent food and carousing (THIS IS CODE FOR WINE).  I bought a sassy new fedora that I will be wearing absolutely everywhere, so Halifax had better be prepared to get sick of that really fast.

We did a few tourist things.  The most important thing to me was to see the cats of Parliament Hill.  I could pretty much just chase kitties around all day, so that was exciting.

My favourite part of the trip (other than just plain seeing Katherine, of course) was Trailer Park Bingo.  Holy crap, we need this in Halifax.  We actually need to import the bingo-caller, because he really makes the event, but an equally funny MC would be great.  For those who don’t know, it’s bingo played in this dive-y bar (called Zaphod Beeblebrox, because what else would it be called?) for crap prizes bought at Value Village like a dashboard hula girl, Spice Girls poster, Titantic on VHS, etc.  The bingo-caller is a comedian with gold teeth who gets progressively drunker and more abusive.  Oh yeah!  Apparently, the grand prize winner gets to throw a bowling ball through a TV!  We didn’t stay till the end, because it goes really late, but anyway it’s the greatest thing ever.

Really fun thing about bingo: you really want to win, because winning is fun, but the prizes are so awful you really don’t want to win.  So you get closer and closer to bingo with the weird, ambivalent excitement, of, like, “Yes, yes!  Just call B6 and I’ll win!  Then I’ll get the… toy aquarium… with fake fish action… Yay?”

In other news entirely today, I decided to cut off my cable to cut costs/perhaps make better use of time this year (who I am kidding the time will be pissed away on the internet).  I’ll probably get annoyed when I want to watch TV, but that’s just tough cookies for me, now isn’t it.  My DVD player is dying a final death, so that means my TV is literally doing nothing right now.  It’s like a paperweight that’s too big for paper.  The solution to this is to get a new freaking DVD player, but that’s just too sensible.

Maggot update: No maggots spotted since last week.  Of course, I’ve been away since last weekend.  Shut up, I take my victories where I can.

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Filed under shenanigans, travel

You got maggots in my peanut butter! You got peanut butter in my maggots!

I’m having adventures in infestation!   I’ve had some moths fluttering around my kitchen lately, which I mostly ignored, because whatever, stupid moths.  Turns out moths come from maggots, and maggots make further moths.  I found this out when I opened up my peanut butter yesterday morning and found some lovely maggots, wriggling around.  Like, seriously, inside the peanut butter jar.  How did they even get in there?  Isn’t that airtight?  So I’ve thrown out basically all of my food that isn’t canned or inside the fridge.

On the plus side:

  • My kitchen hasn’t been this clean since I moved in, because I cleaned like a fucking banshee last night.  A toothbrush and vinegar may have been involved.
  • I got rid of a bunch of that food you have sitting around that you swear you’ll eat eventually but really will just take up space around forever.   So much cupboard space!
  • Tomorrow is 10% off for students at the Superstore, which is totally useful to me right now!

So, thank you maggots for all the lovely things in my life.  Now, for the love of God, don’t come near my clothes.  You can have all the peanut butter in the world if you spare my dresses.

In other news entirely, AST offered me some tutoring work!  I knew that doing three weeks of unpaid, fulltime work would eventually lead to some form of a happy dance.  The happy dance of gainful employment!  Or at least less destitution!  It’s a pretty awesome dance, so it’s too bad you guys can’t see it.  I’m even wearing my harlot skirt today (above the knees!) so the Running Man is has that much more impact.

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Filed under travel, work