Tag Archives: laziness

Grad Students Playing in Sunlight

I did a hulahooping workshop on Monday afternoon in the Library House backyard.  At least, I can phrase it that way.  I totally taught hulahoop tricks!  I am not the most adept hulahooper, but I’m pretty good at a few tricks, and I am happy to teach it to people.  My favourite trick is spinning it above your head, then fwooping it down around your body so you’re suddenly hulahooping, but it takes practice and my apartment is small.  Your can reverse it, too, but that’s harder.  I also like spinning it above my head and switching it from hand to hand.  Then we found a worm digging down into the ground and Deirdre and I yelled at it to hurry up because we were over-excited at this point.  Monica took pictures, and it turns out her camera has some opinions about some things.  It has settings for candlelight dinner, fireworks, and children playing in sunlight.  We went with children playing in sunlight, because it was the closest to our deal.  Clearly the camera is judgmental and has never been unemployed on a sunny afternoon with a grad degree.

Oh man, speaking of which, I came up with a new pithy saying for myself.  “I may be poor, but at least I’m drunk.”  Damn, I’m good at these.  Is there a job where you get paid to come up with a hilarious saying once every four months-ish?  Because I would kill at that.

I redid my blog again!  This time I actually came up with my own picture.  It looks like a picture of a painting, but it’s actually a photo of a table from a tearoom in Bratislava.  All the tables had these beautiful paintings.  I might play around with it some more, so don’t let your entire world lose all meaning if you notice the picture changing slightly.  My only problem with this template is that is doesn’t have anywhere for my awesome subtitle, The best ideas are rarely good.  I put it above the search box, because I am a massive lameass and I love my stupid subtitle.  Would it look completely stupid if I just wrote it directly onto the image?

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Filed under great ideas, shenanigans

Snowed in!

I had an excellent Sunday.  No grappling because of the tournament (which actually wound up getting entirely cancelled for everyone six hours before it started because the guy running it is the sketchiest sketch to ever sketch), no work because I got my shift covered.  It was my first Sunday off in ages.  I celebrated by doing what you apparently should do on the Lord’s Day, which is goddamned nothing.  Nothing but profanity, because I’m sure Jesus is cool with that.

I missed more kickboxing this week (terrible girl!) but I finally got back tonight, yay!  I got my new gear!  I ordered shin guards and head gear (not exactly like the links, but same brand and close enough).  Gerald got me the head gear with a ponytail holder, which is completely adorable.  Kristian made the comment, “Now you can get hit in the head” and I was all, “I know, yay” and then suddenly, “Oh wait, crap.”  So now people can hit me in the head during sparring.  It will make me less lazy about dodging, anyway (when I get tired, I tend to just let people hit me).  The shin guards mean I can get kicked in the legs, which is less of a thing.

I spent the better part of this week snowed in at Michael’s place in the country, but I didn’t miss too much because everyone else was snowed in, too.  Success!  I did absolutely nothing constructive.  Oh wait!  I helped shovel a driveway.  Constructive things = 1.  Go me.  It was pretty big for me!  I live in an apartment, shoveling driveways has become a pretty foreign concept to me!  Other than that, it was a lot of rough living, trapped under the piles of snow.  All that foie gras and wine, the mountain of chocolate, really difficult circumstances all around.  But really, we didn’t lose power at all out in the rurality, and when I got back I found all my clocks flashing, so I’m guessing Halifax did.

(I thought I made up the word ‘rurality’, but it appears 1,620,000 on Google, so I guess I lose the word game this round.)

Now I’m going through my RSS feed, which has been building up for quite a while.  If you notice a crazy number of links posted to my Facebook, it’s because I’m only finding them now!  And they’re still cool three days later, dammit!  Probably still relevant, what do I know?

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Filed under fucking inanity, kickboxing

Burrito Virgin!

Had a Burritos-and-Twilight Night with some of the kickboxing gals the other night.  Delightful!  Despite my attempts to keep my cool, I was revealed to be a burrito virgin.  I don’t know how I got so far in life without eating a burrito, I guess any time I was at a Mexican restaurant I just went with tacos.  It’s all essentially the same ingredients, whatever!  Not my fault I stuffed too much burrito stuff into my burrito.  Woe, shame!  Delicious shame.  Then we watched the third Twilight movie, and I’d never seen the first two (apparently also a Twilight virgin), so I had the movies retold to me by hilarious friends over wine, which I’m almost certain is more fun than watching the actual movies.  The third movie gave me this impression.  OK, there was one scene I sincerely, unironically enjoyed, the rest just involved yelling at the screen.

I got crappy news today!  My grappling tournament that was supposed to happen tomorrow isn’t happening at all!  Man, I had my shifts all switched, I told everyone I was competing, I’m so annoyed.  What happened is, there are only so many grappling ladies in the region, and all of them wound up pulling out of the competition at the last minute except my team.  So I would’ve driven for hours to get to Moncton, paid $60 to enter, and just fought the ladies from my own club.  Crappity.  On the bright side, there’s going to be another tournament, in Truro on the 19th!  It’s way better organized than this one, way closer, and my family can watch if they want.  Probably a better ‘first tournament’ than the one tomorrow, anyway (it was kind of sketchy).

I skipped kickboxing last night, to finish up an assignment (successfully, might I add).  And also today, because we had an auxiliary grappling class that was supposed to be for sprucing up for the tournament but instead turned into a much-needed bitch session (so good for the soul).  I am not doing well this week, only one kickboxing class and yoga.  No wonder I’m so sleepy!  I need to do some jumping jacks or something… but that… entails… standing…

Now I need some Whatever Policies!  Hmm… I’ve almost entirely abandoned my ‘only get groceries on Tuesdays’ policy.  Well, I’ve actually sort of inverted it, because it seems I get groceries on every day except Tuesdays.  I apparently really don’t want that 10% student discount or something, because I am doing everything in my power to avoid it.  What am I going to do with an extra $4.37, anyway?  Probably use it to get into trouble, is what.  No, I think it’s better if the Superstore takes it, they’ll use it better.  That’s my policy: Superstore spends money better than me, just let them have it.

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Filed under fucking inanity, grappling, kickboxing, shenanigans, Whatever Policies

Whatever Christmas!

I’m safely ensconced in my apartment after my Christmas familying.  It was lovely, of course, but it is nice to get back to my own bed with my own shower and my own kitchen.  Spent the day organizing gifts and not a hell of a lot else.  The news keeps talking about Boxing Day shoppers, which is a cruel joke to Nova Scotia.  I have gift certificates, dammit!  Why must I wait 24 grueling hours for SportChek?!

Did my Christmas Baking-stravaganza with my awesome grandmother a few days ago, so I had gifts for people in the form of baked goods.  I only ate one of my own cherry surprises this year, and gave the rest away, which needs to be a goddamned Nobel Prize or something.  Maybe if I gave them to Osama bin Laden, and the pure deliciousness caused him to give up terrorism.  (And now my blog is on several watch-lists.  Worth it~)

Ah, it’s been so long since I updated, I’ve forgotten the nuances of the process.  How do I properly convey my delightful witticisms?  How do I get four to six entertaining paragraphs out of absolute inanity?  Should I start drinking now?  I have a blog, it’s like I’m a writer.

Before I left for Truro, I went to the Tuesday night kickboxing class at the club which is, as it turns out, not taught by Gerald.  It’s taught by Ray, who I never really met, and I was totally thrown for a loop because he was ever-so-slightly different so I had to rethink all these basic things I already knew.  Like, side kick, I know side kick, I’ve thrown a million side kicks, but Ray explained a side kick and suddenly I was flailing around like some beginner.  So embarrassing.  But different styles are fun, too.  Like, Ray apparently loves doing take-downs, so I learned about four new take-downs, and they are ridiculously fun and easy.  Just, how to smash a bastard to the ground, in one easy step.  Step one: Put that bastard down.

Hung out with my uncle from Montreal this week, which I always enjoy.  He always has the best perspectives on things.  He made me watch Winter’s Bone, because he figures that would’ve been our family if great-grandpa hadn’t escaped the Ozarks hillbilly tribes to become a Nova Scotian hillbilly (still hillbillies, but at least it’s freezing goddamned cold!).  Later I was tasked with the job of asking Grammie questions about… whatever… while being recorded so we could get good memories down.  I got some scandalous stuff about an arsonist just as Christmas supper was being set down.  In retrospect, I should’ve asked about the hillbillies.  Those guys are always gold.  You just put people on a hill, shit automatically gets scandalous, there’s no helping it.  It’s the altitude or something.

Oh yeah, I finally got the wherewithal to weigh myself.  The last time I weighed myself was last January, and I’ve lost 40 pounds since then, which is pretty cool.  Really, 40 since July.  Probably going to gain some back with all the chocolate and loafing happening this December, but whatever, Gerald will whip me back into shape come January.

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Filed under exercise, family, fucking inanity, kickboxing

Life is boring and fantastic

Yeah, so I haven’t updated in a little while, because nothing has been going on.  No classes, no parties, no fitness, no work!  Well, I worked last night, but there was no one there, so I just sat quietly for five hours and went home.  Everything is cancelled and everyone is gone because it’s December, so I’m just hanging around, going on walks and getting fat.  All of my adventures have been pointless and abortive, like, Shannon is Thwarted at the Passport Office, but That’s OK, She’s Not Actually Going Anywhere for, Like, Five Months, Anyway.

I availed myself of the public library’s reference desk yesterday!  I needed directions downtown, and I was all, like, the Reference Desk will save me!  I’m always willing to boost my compatriots statistics!  Anyway, they were totally nice, so this is me plugging them.  Rock on, Halifax Public Library.

My new laptop is fun, but the keyboard is slightly different and messing with me.  There’s an extra line of keys along the left side, so I keep hitting this “print” key when I’m going for “shift”, and the “calculator” key when I want “control”.  My life is very difficult. I have to say, though, I love the existence of the calculator key.  Because I need the calculator all the time, because I am an idiot.

I dreamt last night I got a haircut from six ladies is creepy masks.  This is why I haven’t updated in like five days.  Because I have nothing.  I’m telling you people my dumbass dreams.

Oh!  I found one of my all-time favorite teas, Stash Christmas Eve tea!  I’ve been hunting for it all year, to no avail.  As soon as I saw it yesterday, I was, like, Oh yeah, seasonal.  So I bought a whole bunch, because fuck seasons, just… just fuck those guys.

Anyway, I’m going to go back to my small, Decemberly, hibernative existence of reading things.  News, novels, whatever.  I found a book of poetry called The Truro Bear!  I think it’s that American Truro near New York, but whatever, the Truro bear has a blueberry field and everything!  I will be going back to Truro to hang with family and harass friends sometime soon.  Baked goods will occur.  I will make cherry surprises, which are the best thing that will ever explode in your mouth, bar none.  I’m willing to do some kind of panel to test this.  This is an ‘everybody wins’ sort of situation.

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Filed under fucking inanity, shenanigans, work

Sushi Yummy

Just went out for sushi with Kathleen.  I successfully used chopsticks… depending on how loosely you define “successfully”.  I did not ask for a fork, which is, in my mind, a successful bout with chopsticks.  Stabbing in vain at the rice, crying in frustration, and finally eating it with my fingers is like success, right?  You’d be surprised how classy I can look while eating rice with my fingers… in my imagination KATHLEEN DO NOT RUIN THIS FOR ME.

Over lunch, we discuessed the idea of a $250 gift certificate to the liquor store.  I think I would go in planning to get, like, one really amazing bottle of wine, then come out with 25 $10 bottles of wine.  I would build a wine cellar, and take guests on a tour, and they’d be all impressed until they noticed it was filled with, like, Yellow Tail and Gallo Brothers.  Also, that my wine cellar is under my bed.  But then we’d get drunk on cheap wine under my bed and everything would be lovely.

Went out for drinks last night with numerous classmates for a “Semester is Finished” celebration.  Naomi and I came up with a plan for if I ever have a baby.  I’m going to abandon it at the mall, and it’ll be raised by the janitors and the staff at the Orange Julius stand.  And eventually my family will wonder why I never get them Christmas presents any more, and its because I can’t go back to the mall, because my baby lives there.  Anyway, we hit that point where we couldn’t stop laughing, but when we tried to explain the joke to other people they were just, like, That’s kind of funny.  So I’m memorializing it here, for you, Internet.

I did two presentations on Tuesday, which involved a lot of random analogies, like, “The search for the right collection management software is like the search for true love” and “So, if a tree falls in a forest, you know… can a robot really have knowledge?”

Wednesday was dedicated to sleeping in, window shopping downtown, and showing up to work and being told I could go home.  If I wanted to.  Um, yes please?  This is what lead to my being able to hang out with the classmates.  I’m still working on the weekend, so this was just a surprise day off.

This evening, I will go network with librarians and present myself as proper librarian material.  I need to make myself some stupid business cards.  Well, ideally, actually some intelligent business cards.  Not clever business cards, though; that’s too risky.  Staid, serious business cards, for my staid, serious business persona.  I’m frowning all serious-like as I write this.

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Filed under fucking inanity, school, shenanigans, stupid jokes

Go Shannon, it’s your Halloween-party-day

Kickboxing yesterday!  You know, I had just been thinking to myself, “Self, it’s been, like, two months since you gave a person a piggyback ride.  What is even up with that?”  The Halloween-Party-Day gods were listening, and they answered.  In piggyback form.  My piggybackee, Sam, cheered me on with the whole, Go Shannon, It’s your birthday chant, until I corrected her with the Halloween-Party-Day chant.  Because yesterday, being the Saturday immediately before Halloween, was Halloween-Party-Day.  After that, she just concentrated on racing me against fellow bootcamper Laura.  Quoth Sam, “I’m always competitive when I’m the rider.”

Other kickboxing adventures: I got knocked over!  Right onto my butt.  That’s what happens when you get chatty and inattentive during a kicking drill.  Also, I have paid for my boxing gloves, and will receive them sometime next week.  New bruise: Left hip, lovely shade of dark purple.

Halloween party at the Library House!  Apparently, drinking wine straight from the bottle has become my signature, and I am deeply, deeply pleased with this.  I figure if I use a glass, I am just making more work for Library House People the next day, and also buying into the Dawn Liquid Soap advertising conspiracy and we’re all just puppets of the wine glass industry… or… something.  I don’t know, it all starts to fall apart once I start “thinking” about it.

Anyway, hungover until noon, so I skipped grappling, like a loser.  I have done precisely dick in terms of fitness today.   Have done precisely dick in terms of a lot of things, really.  No closer to attaining Nirvana, curing cancer, or finding true love.  But I did some homework and came to work, also I got to sleep in and watch sitcoms.  My life rules!  What were we talking about?

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Filed under exercise, fucking inanity, great ideas, kickboxing