Tag Archives: bugs

Grad Students Playing in Sunlight

I did a hulahooping workshop on Monday afternoon in the Library House backyard.  At least, I can phrase it that way.  I totally taught hulahoop tricks!  I am not the most adept hulahooper, but I’m pretty good at a few tricks, and I am happy to teach it to people.  My favourite trick is spinning it above your head, then fwooping it down around your body so you’re suddenly hulahooping, but it takes practice and my apartment is small.  Your can reverse it, too, but that’s harder.  I also like spinning it above my head and switching it from hand to hand.  Then we found a worm digging down into the ground and Deirdre and I yelled at it to hurry up because we were over-excited at this point.  Monica took pictures, and it turns out her camera has some opinions about some things.  It has settings for candlelight dinner, fireworks, and children playing in sunlight.  We went with children playing in sunlight, because it was the closest to our deal.  Clearly the camera is judgmental and has never been unemployed on a sunny afternoon with a grad degree.

Oh man, speaking of which, I came up with a new pithy saying for myself.  “I may be poor, but at least I’m drunk.”  Damn, I’m good at these.  Is there a job where you get paid to come up with a hilarious saying once every four months-ish?  Because I would kill at that.

I redid my blog again!  This time I actually came up with my own picture.  It looks like a picture of a painting, but it’s actually a photo of a table from a tearoom in Bratislava.  All the tables had these beautiful paintings.  I might play around with it some more, so don’t let your entire world lose all meaning if you notice the picture changing slightly.  My only problem with this template is that is doesn’t have anywhere for my awesome subtitle, The best ideas are rarely good.  I put it above the search box, because I am a massive lameass and I love my stupid subtitle.  Would it look completely stupid if I just wrote it directly onto the image?

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The bugs! They’re everywhere!

OK, am I the only one who sees all those terrible little green maggotty caterpillar-inchworm-things hanging from the trees?  Because I walk down the street with people, and I feel like I’m the only one freaking out and dodging the little bastards, and then I feel like the lunatic, complaining about being surrounding by bugs, the bugs are all over me, holy crap, holy crap, etc.  But they just fly around on the wind!  And they hang under trees!  Yes, explaining them sounds crazy, but they’re there, so why is no one freaking out with me?

So, my problem is Global Warming.  Because it is Fall, and the stupid floating caterpillars are supposed to be a fucking Spring thing, but they are here, plaguing me while I wander blithely through the woods like a delightful wood nymph, with my laptop and kicky blazer, much like they had in Ancient Greece.

I got downright giddy during my last class of my twelve-hour Tuesday.  I’d had a test the class before.  A test.  I haven’t done a test in years.  Then a bunch of us sat around for 45 minutes while I tried to convince the rest that my apartment, full of alcohol, was within easy reach.  I was (rightfully) ignored, but turns out I really didn’t need booze (do I ever?).  I was running on an entertaining combination of social-life-staying-up-late-syndrome and nine-hours-of-class-itis.  Bellydancing needs to kick it up a notch, sane me up a little or something.  That or Knowledge Management needs to get way less hilarious.

You may get a cool post about my emergency preparedness kits, but do you want to know what the two most important things I always keep next to my bed are?  A dream journal, for if I have an awesome dream.  And a hammer, in case of rapists.  These are the two most important things.  Everything else will fall into place on its own, but amazing dreams and rapist-smashing wait for no man.

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Filed under dancing, fucking inanity, great ideas, school, shenanigans

Ottawa! / Hurricane flying is the best way to fly

I took a Labour Day Weekend trip to Ottawa to visit the fabulous Katherine.   This involved a flight booked for Saturday, which, as it turned out, was a flight booked for Hurricane Tropical Storm Earl Day.  This had numerous, numerous disadvantages, but also a number of awesome, unexpected upsides:

  • Running to the shuttle in the storm because the taxis wouldn’t answer my calls was really, really fun, and I dried off during my three hour wait at the airport.  Also, although the storm blew my skirt up a few times, no one saw because public indecency only occurs when there’s a public around.
  • A downed tree, wrapped in Christmas lights, getting dragged out of the street by a legion of strapping young men: very entertaining sight from the shuttle.
  • The greatest advantage: No lines at the airport!  Seriously, I have never, never had such an experience.  The check-in area was, like, a bunch of bored airline workers standing around at their respective posts and literally only me, alone on the other side of room.  No one in front of me at security, either.  I think every other flight but mine was cancelled.

Ottawa itself was also faboo.  Katherine is trying to sell me on the idea of moving there after I graduate, and I can definitely go for it.  We had excellent food and carousing (THIS IS CODE FOR WINE).  I bought a sassy new fedora that I will be wearing absolutely everywhere, so Halifax had better be prepared to get sick of that really fast.

We did a few tourist things.  The most important thing to me was to see the cats of Parliament Hill.  I could pretty much just chase kitties around all day, so that was exciting.

My favourite part of the trip (other than just plain seeing Katherine, of course) was Trailer Park Bingo.  Holy crap, we need this in Halifax.  We actually need to import the bingo-caller, because he really makes the event, but an equally funny MC would be great.  For those who don’t know, it’s bingo played in this dive-y bar (called Zaphod Beeblebrox, because what else would it be called?) for crap prizes bought at Value Village like a dashboard hula girl, Spice Girls poster, Titantic on VHS, etc.  The bingo-caller is a comedian with gold teeth who gets progressively drunker and more abusive.  Oh yeah!  Apparently, the grand prize winner gets to throw a bowling ball through a TV!  We didn’t stay till the end, because it goes really late, but anyway it’s the greatest thing ever.

Really fun thing about bingo: you really want to win, because winning is fun, but the prizes are so awful you really don’t want to win.  So you get closer and closer to bingo with the weird, ambivalent excitement, of, like, “Yes, yes!  Just call B6 and I’ll win!  Then I’ll get the… toy aquarium… with fake fish action… Yay?”

In other news entirely today, I decided to cut off my cable to cut costs/perhaps make better use of time this year (who I am kidding the time will be pissed away on the internet).  I’ll probably get annoyed when I want to watch TV, but that’s just tough cookies for me, now isn’t it.  My DVD player is dying a final death, so that means my TV is literally doing nothing right now.  It’s like a paperweight that’s too big for paper.  The solution to this is to get a new freaking DVD player, but that’s just too sensible.

Maggot update: No maggots spotted since last week.  Of course, I’ve been away since last weekend.  Shut up, I take my victories where I can.

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You got maggots in my peanut butter! You got peanut butter in my maggots!

I’m having adventures in infestation!   I’ve had some moths fluttering around my kitchen lately, which I mostly ignored, because whatever, stupid moths.  Turns out moths come from maggots, and maggots make further moths.  I found this out when I opened up my peanut butter yesterday morning and found some lovely maggots, wriggling around.  Like, seriously, inside the peanut butter jar.  How did they even get in there?  Isn’t that airtight?  So I’ve thrown out basically all of my food that isn’t canned or inside the fridge.

On the plus side:

  • My kitchen hasn’t been this clean since I moved in, because I cleaned like a fucking banshee last night.  A toothbrush and vinegar may have been involved.
  • I got rid of a bunch of that food you have sitting around that you swear you’ll eat eventually but really will just take up space around forever.   So much cupboard space!
  • Tomorrow is 10% off for students at the Superstore, which is totally useful to me right now!

So, thank you maggots for all the lovely things in my life.  Now, for the love of God, don’t come near my clothes.  You can have all the peanut butter in the world if you spare my dresses.

In other news entirely, AST offered me some tutoring work!  I knew that doing three weeks of unpaid, fulltime work would eventually lead to some form of a happy dance.  The happy dance of gainful employment!  Or at least less destitution!  It’s a pretty awesome dance, so it’s too bad you guys can’t see it.  I’m even wearing my harlot skirt today (above the knees!) so the Running Man is has that much more impact.

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Filed under travel, work