Hot Times in Moksha Yoga

Kathleen and I went to a Moksha Yoga class on Monday, which was definitely an experience.  Moksha Yoga, for those not in the know, is one of those hot yoga classes, so the yoga studio is about 37 degrees Celsius (or whatever-whatever for people who know Fahrenheit) (OK, fine, 98, but only because I’m looking it up already) (hey that’s, like, body temperature, trippy).  Anyway, unsurprisingly, holy crap it was hot.  I sweat a lot when I work out normally, so hot yoga was insane.  My yoga mat was reaching slip-‘n-slide levels of wet.  They advised you bring a full-sized towel, and I didn’t realize until I got there that it was to cover your yoga mat.  Whoops!  A lady actually did pass out, but the instructor reacted so well it just made me feel better.  I’ve read about some hot yoga instructors being medically fuck-witted when it comes to passing out yoginis, but this guy was just swift and awesome.

I really liked the actual yoga practice.  We did not do a hundred million sun salutations (I’m looking at you, Ashtanga Yoga), plenty of the hip stuff I love because I don’t actually need to do it, and we weirdly did three savasana/corpse poses (this is the “lying on your back chilling” pose).  One at the very beginning, one in the middle, then the usual one at the end.  It was really cool, and probably necessary to keep everyone’s heart rates down in that heat.  Anyway, I would like to keep trying it, but I’m not sure if I can take the heat!  I felt on the edge of dizziness a few times near the end, and my heart rate was getting up.  It might be a matter of acclimation, or it might be a matter of ‘not meant for me’.

Bootcamp on Saturday!  We’re on the SMU football field, which means stairs!  And also, those terrible little bits of ground up tires they put on football fields that heat up in the sun!  I seriously hate those tire bits.  When you’re on your hands and knees, oh, how they burn!  It wasn’t too sunny on Saturday, but near the end it started heating up.  We did piggybacks, which I love.  We also did some strange thing where we had to lie on our backs and hold ourselves in a V shape, with our legs straight up, reaching our arms towards our legs, with our shoulders off the ground, for as long as we could.  If it sounds insane, that’s because it is.  It’s also super-hard, and I totally held it for 3:33 minutes, the third best time!  Whoo!

I must go out and census, soon.  The weather has been so nice and hot, lately, it’s been good for walking around and being charming with people.

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Failed Experiments in Kendo

Last week I went with some kickboxing buddies to a kendo class to see how kendo works, as a possible summertime thing.  For a long time, I thought kendo and I could be pretty good friends, because it involves screaming and hitting things with sticks, and I am all over that like me on ice cream.  Unfortunately, it’s one of those super-ritualized martial arts, where you have to respect the art of the craft a whole bunch and bow every thirty seconds at something.  This is the kind of thing that drove me out of Shotokan Karate so many years ago; I really just want to hit things, now please?  Also, and more importantly, the stance is the opposite from kickboxing, so it’s right foot forward left foot back, which is so hard to get used to you have no idea.  It’s fun in the sense that I find almost everything new fun, but it doesn’t work with my schedule anyway, so I can’t really keep it up.

The other day I went out for ice cream at the fancy ice cream place, because what else to do on a sunny weekday?  On the way there, I walked past the place with the horses, and the horses were totally out, ripe for the patting!  Awesome!  I go ballistic with joy anytime I get to pat a cat on a sidewalk, so you can imagine me with access to a horse for three minutes.  Anyway, I got horse spit all over my hand, and then I got ice cream anyway, so if I die suddenly from some horse disease someone show this blog to the coroner, please.  Cause of death can be something like “Ice cream is worth more than sense.”

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Bootcamp’s back, baby!

First day of bootcamp today!  Yay!  I have been such a lazy loaf lately, I am very excited that bootcamp is happening just precisely when I need it most.  So, yes, you all can look forward to me gushing about the terrible things I do outside all summer long, shouldn’t you come too?  Today we were out in the cold, windy rain, which was pretty nice when things started heating up.  It got a little ridiculous when the wind started knocking over all the cones as we were running through them, though.  Usually there’s a penalty for knocking over cones, but about 75% of the time it was the wind, make the damn wind do pushups.  Running around in the mud was entertaining; I came pretty close to one faceplant.  I was more worried about getting unfortunately intimate with a cone, really.  Then there was crawling in the mud, with my old nemesis, the inchworm (this video doesn’t have the 1-5 pushups we enjoyed).  And then a bunch of other stuff.  I’m not here to explain every single thing, I’m  just here to say it was super-fun and awesome and I loved it and missed it so much!  And my hands were basically numb by the end because holy crap it is cold today.  Why, June, why are you doing this to me?

Went out to a birthday bar thing with a bunch of people I haven’t seen in ages/ever last night.  I was determined to a) not get drunk, because hungover bootcamp sucks, and b) eat something ridiculous, because fat bootcamp is completely acceptable.  As such, I wound up with a hamburger with, like, everything on it and then some, including onion rings.  This is a meal that you can enter a bootcamp with, head held high, stomach heavy.

Kickboxing last night!  We practiced how not to get kicked in the head/what to do when kicked in the head.  This involved a lot of spinning on the kicker’s part, which is always super awkward.  It was a good opportunity to rehearse that awesome spinning backfist with which I am passingly acquainted, because that is the thing you can generally do when spinning anyway.  Also, and more importantly, there was a toddler sitting in on the class who was acting out the moves as we were doing them, and it was the cutest thing in the world.

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Senseless Monkey!

Started my fancy new job this week as a census monkey!  Technically, my job is Enumerator, but that doesn’t really mean much.  I feel that census monkey is a lot more evocative.  Basically I just go to the doors of people who did do their censuses and point out that they didn’t do their census, hey, what should we do about that?  I am, like, three days in, but it’s pretty good times so far; I like talking to strangers while holding a clipboard.  I had to take a pretty hardcore privacy oath (6 months in prison!), so I can’t blog the undoubtedly exciting confidential information I’m gathering.

I managed to elbow Kickboxing Erika in the eye on Friday.  I felt the squish and everything!  Gah!  I started pulling back at the last second, so it really wasn’t hard, thankfully.  Earlier, she punched me bare-knuckled, full on the head.  These were both during defensive drills, so it was fault of the strikee, not the striker.  We were both just having a particularly stupid day.  Stupid to the point of, during one drill we got halfway through then just stood there, staring at each other for a full thirty seconds because we couldn’t remember who went next.

My dad came up today, and for Father’s Day I made him put a basket and a rack on my bike.  Haha, I have such a nice-looking bike, and the rack and basket came from a yardsale and are attached with metal tape stuff and look like total crap.  Fun fact about me: about 90% of what I own was free, and also I have no aesthetic shame.  “Concept?  Matching?  Whatever, if I get the bike for free, then I can afford leather boxing gloves.  And an extra yoga class!”

I had a fun bike adventure that didn’t involve actually driving it at all!  I always kept it locked to a tree behind my apartment, and I got home the other day and the tree had been cut down, and my bike was gone.  The part of my brain that does logic said, clearly, the landlord had cut down the tree and put my bike somewhere safe and I just had to call him and everything would be cool.  But the part of my brain that is frankly way more fun at parties immediately thought, holy crap, some thief loved my awesome bike so much they cut down a WHOLE TREE to get it holy crap!  It was totally the logical first one, of course.  The cool-ass part of my brain is never right.  I’m pretty sure that’s reality failing to live up to my standards.

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The Bruce Lee School of Culinary Arts

Went to a surf n’ turf party the other night.  A surf n’ turf party is a party that starts out as a lobster bake, but grows to include a number of people who don’t eat lobster and so show up with steak.  I was a steak person, because I am a terrible Nova Scotian and I hate lobster (more for the rest of you!).  This was a kickboxer’s party, and ridiculous things tend to happen at kickboxer’s parties when things need to get tenderized.

Meat and Fists!

The best thing is, it was the most tender steak I’ve ever had, swear to God.  Possibly because I beat it way longer than was necessary, because punching things is an act of joy for me, but still, man, good steak.  I highly suggest that every serious chef procure, as a matter of a complete kitchen set, a martial artist.

I partnered with Phil in kickboxing yesterday, and that was very good because he really kept me on my toes.  I was dropping my right hand, as is my stupid tendency, and Phil just hit me in the face to remind me to not do that.  I returned the favour, because this is what good partners do (for real).

Biking is going well.  I tried biking in a skirt, while wearing shorts underneath, just because I was sick of always wearing jeans.  Alas, the skirt did eventually get stuck in the spokes.  There is probably some trick to skirt-biking where I bunch it all up and look ridiculous, so maybe I’ll just stick with jeans and shorts and blah blah blah.  I do love my pretty skirts, though.

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Gradumacation!

I had my convocation on Tuesday!  Officially a Master of Library and Information Studies, whoo!  It was pretty much what a graduation ceremony is, main surprise was when they let me keep the fancy Masters hat.  Totally giving it to the nephews, because small children in grad gear is freaking adorable.  Now I suppose I can’t call myself a grad student, merely an unemployed fightin’ enthusiast.

I got a bike!  I thought I might be too skittish to ride on the city streets, but it turns out I’m more foolhardy than terrified, as usual.  (Shannon Mason: “More stupid than scared, but she does have fun.”)  Fast bike goes fast!  Down a hill, whoosh!  Then I huff and puff up the hill, because I may practice kicks to the head recreationally but my leg muscles really aren’t used to this pumping action after only two days.

An observation in kickboxing last night.  If I ever were in a street fight, I would probably apologize to my opponents every time my form was off.  “Sorry, that knee really sucked!  Here, let me do it again.  Can you tell me if I don’t turn my hip over?”  Alternately, perennial teacher Kickboxing Erika would be giving tips to her opponents.  “Wait, wait.  If you bring up your left hand while coming at me with that right cross, you can protect your face from my counter.”

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CLA Insanity!

I have had a sufficiently insane week to last me for a while.  I wound up volunteering for the Canadian Library Association’s 2011 Conference as Classy Erica’s photography assistant, which meant I went to every single event and wrote down every single person’s name, pretty much.  The basic gig was writing down the names of people in Erica’s photos, and it was so incredibly fun, you guys!  I got to go to fun events from daybreak to sunset for free and hang out with Erica.  I spent the entire four days pretty much living off of trade show cookies, because those are really easy to grab while you’re running around, but at the end of the fourth day this kind of leads to a stomach ache.  Anyway, librarians are incredibly nice people, photography looks a lot like networking, and my advice, you awesome people, is to always say yes to everything, because sometimes this leads an unemployed loser to the VIP party.  (Also, if you can pull it off, try to wander past Erica at the precise moment she’s looking to grab a person for the sweetest, craziest volunteer gig possible.  This is the moneymaker.)

I’m trying to think of what the hell else I’ve done, but CLA sort of filled up my brain for the past little while.  In kickboxing last week we practiced a lot of clinch stuff, which is always fun.  Clinch with the big boxing gloves on is a huge pain, especially when you’re in a clinch and trying to get your hands between your opponent’s arms.  It’s incredible awkward and you get all scratched up by the velcro on the gloves, but that’s how it is in the matches, so it’s how we must practice.  Anyway, knees in the clinch are a ton of fun!  We were trying knees when you’re the one being held in the clinch.  It’s a “I’m just going to keep hurting you until you let me go” kind of thing.

Watched UFC 130 at Bubba Ray’s the other night, but I’ve been up early so much for the conference I was practically asleep by the main event.  It ended in a rear naked choke, which is my favourite choke, and I didn’t even notice or care, I was just ready for bed.  Struve vs. Browne was my favourite fight, anyway, because it was a 6’7″ guy against a 6’11” guy and I was imagining Tokyo all around their feet.  Seriously, how do weight classes even work with guys that tall? I’m pretty sure Struve was trying to use the edge of the cage to armbar Browne at one point, they’re both so tall they were just towering over it.

Ugh, my apartment really needs to be tidied.  I was running in and out of it so quickly all this week, just throwing everything down, and yesterday was “rest” day, so today is the day I’m pretty sure I have to actually clean and stuff.  Yuck.

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