Whatever Christmas!

I’m safely ensconced in my apartment after my Christmas familying.  It was lovely, of course, but it is nice to get back to my own bed with my own shower and my own kitchen.  Spent the day organizing gifts and not a hell of a lot else.  The news keeps talking about Boxing Day shoppers, which is a cruel joke to Nova Scotia.  I have gift certificates, dammit!  Why must I wait 24 grueling hours for SportChek?!

Did my Christmas Baking-stravaganza with my awesome grandmother a few days ago, so I had gifts for people in the form of baked goods.  I only ate one of my own cherry surprises this year, and gave the rest away, which needs to be a goddamned Nobel Prize or something.  Maybe if I gave them to Osama bin Laden, and the pure deliciousness caused him to give up terrorism.  (And now my blog is on several watch-lists.  Worth it~)

Ah, it’s been so long since I updated, I’ve forgotten the nuances of the process.  How do I properly convey my delightful witticisms?  How do I get four to six entertaining paragraphs out of absolute inanity?  Should I start drinking now?  I have a blog, it’s like I’m a writer.

Before I left for Truro, I went to the Tuesday night kickboxing class at the club which is, as it turns out, not taught by Gerald.  It’s taught by Ray, who I never really met, and I was totally thrown for a loop because he was ever-so-slightly different so I had to rethink all these basic things I already knew.  Like, side kick, I know side kick, I’ve thrown a million side kicks, but Ray explained a side kick and suddenly I was flailing around like some beginner.  So embarrassing.  But different styles are fun, too.  Like, Ray apparently loves doing take-downs, so I learned about four new take-downs, and they are ridiculously fun and easy.  Just, how to smash a bastard to the ground, in one easy step.  Step one: Put that bastard down.

Hung out with my uncle from Montreal this week, which I always enjoy.  He always has the best perspectives on things.  He made me watch Winter’s Bone, because he figures that would’ve been our family if great-grandpa hadn’t escaped the Ozarks hillbilly tribes to become a Nova Scotian hillbilly (still hillbillies, but at least it’s freezing goddamned cold!).  Later I was tasked with the job of asking Grammie questions about… whatever… while being recorded so we could get good memories down.  I got some scandalous stuff about an arsonist just as Christmas supper was being set down.  In retrospect, I should’ve asked about the hillbillies.  Those guys are always gold.  You just put people on a hill, shit automatically gets scandalous, there’s no helping it.  It’s the altitude or something.

Oh yeah, I finally got the wherewithal to weigh myself.  The last time I weighed myself was last January, and I’ve lost 40 pounds since then, which is pretty cool.  Really, 40 since July.  Probably going to gain some back with all the chocolate and loafing happening this December, but whatever, Gerald will whip me back into shape come January.

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Filed under exercise, family, fucking inanity, kickboxing

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