I had a request for a story, which was just so amazing I thought it should be recorded for posterity. Enjoy!
There once was a boy name Blargity Blarg. He realized he had the worst name on Earth, seriously, bordering on child abuse, so he decided to go find some new parents that would give him a new name.
On his journey, he met a fearsome dragon. The dragon said he would adopt the boy and name him Zorn, and the boy decided Zorn was a better name than Blargity Blarg, so fine. The dragon’s name was Zorn, too, and the boy’s full name become Zorn Dragon, Jr.
But Dad Dragon said that any son of his had to be able to fly. He thought that humans were able to fly, but didn’t because humans are wusses like that. But no son of his would be a wimp! Zorn Dragon, Jr just had to believe in the power of flight, and he would soar magestically.
Dad Dragon took Zorn Dragon, Jr to the highest cliff, and the boy believed in himself as hard as possible, and jumped! Sadly, he fell like a brick. But! Dad Dragon rushed down to rescue him! He grabbed his beloved son in his claws! Too bad, Dad Dragon’s problems understanding human physiology weren’t limited to flight capabilities. Zorn Dragon, Jr was crushed to death by Dad Dragon’s rescue.
Even though Dad Dragon had only adopted Zorn Dragon, Jr that morning, already his heart was bursting with paternal love for his non-flying, crushable son. Heartbroken, he cried a thousand dragon tears.
The tears made a river, flooding the nearby town. This town was where the Blargs, Zorn Dragon, Jr’s original, crappy family, lived. They totally drowned. The river became the Danube, which translates in many languages (that I invented) as: Zorn Dragon, Jr.