Monthly Archives: September 2010

God, I should be doing homework

Kickboxing was awesome today.  I am officially on Gerald’s list of “people who must do extra lunges and whatnot” during the fitness portion, which is like graduating or something, I swear to god, so exciting.  I’m slowly getting better at holding the mitts for my partner, which is a bizarre new skill set.  Other new things learnt today: knees! elbows!  Thai kick!  It was a pretty quick runthrough, so not like any of it will stick or anything.  But still… elbows!  Eeeee!

I got my student loan, so I finally have some new workout clothes (don’t judge me!).  Anyway, they fit properly and I’m looking good, so that’s all very exciting.  I may soon be forced to buy a proper sports bra that doesn’t come from Zellers, though.  There’s something desperately unclassy about ending each punch-kick combo with a bra adjust.

It’s become clear that the cable company just plum forgot to cut my cable.  Bastards!  Why are they doing this to me?!  Now there’s some force of will involved in not watching TV.  I mean, I still won’t channel-surf (I watch a few things online, much cleaner), but it would be easier if I wasn’t watching because it wasn’t there.

I finally organized stuff into my agenda (I still have a spare lying around, if anyone wants it; it’s full of coupons~).  This is sort of like homework.  It’s the homework’s homework.  I am working my way up, people.

Yesterday I saw a crow chilling on the sidewalk and it let me get right up to it and didn’t back away and I figured I could probably touch it and it would let me but then I figured that any bird that just let me touch it was probably seriously messed up in some way and I would get sick too and pass it on to the human population so I fought my natural inclination to touch literally anything I find on the sidewalk to protect ALL OF YOU from the bird flu 2.0 so you are welcome.


Filed under exercise, fucking inanity, kickboxing, school


I had my first kickboxing class of the year last night.  Whoo!  I was worried that Gerald might get me to go over with the beginner’s, because I did the beginner’s stuff a whole year ago, but he let me train with the advanced side (where all my bootcamp friends are).  Yay!  So instead of boring myself silly getting shown the difference between a cross and a jab, I got to really learn something new (switch kick!).  And all that stair training over the summer really made a difference in my kicks, too.  I was feelings totes badass.

Kickboxing went from 6-7, and there was a networking opportunity at Dal right at 7 that I figured I should go to as well.  Kickboxing is on campus, so I brought a dress and blazer in my bag and decided to run over right afterwards.  “It’s the first day,” I thought to myself. “Gerald will go easy on us.  Surely I won’t get that sweaty.”  It’s like I’ve never met Gerald or something.  So I went and networked while spectacularly sweaty.  I used it as an opening line.  “Sorry, I just ran here from kickboxing.  Oh, I grapple, too.  Bellydance, also.  Yes, I’m terribly fascinating, you should hire me to work for the government.”

Anyway, networking was fun.  I talked to the legendary cataloguer from the Mount about their lesbian pulp fiction collection and the case of the stolen first edition Origin of Species (which goes for $100,000).  Also, when I said I grappled a lady said it must be hard for a “tiny thing” like me, which is objectively untrue but it’s nice that I’m in that area where I can be described as such by a stranger.  Whoo!

Oh my god, you guys, I made THE BEST veggie chili.  I have no idea how, though, because I just throw all this crap into a crock pot, but some of the weirder stuff I put in was: brown rice, barley, chives, steak seasoning, basil, cocoa powder, chickpeas, garlic, salsa, canned beans in maple syrup… I can’t remember what else.  I’ve also lost track of what normally goes in chili, so maybe some of this is normal.  Anyway, it’s ridiculously delicious and I want it all the time.  Just put all the beans in your house into a crockpot with chili powder, and all the things on that list up there (except the brown rice, cook that separately and add it later).  Et voila!  Oh yeah, also put in hamburger if you want.  Oh!  And pepperoni is really good in chili if you eat meat!  Holy crap, trust me on this!

I was looking forward to walking around all day today and it is raining so I’ll be over here, cursing the heavens, if you’re looking for me.

Leave a comment

Filed under job search, kickboxing, shenanigans, useful

Oh yeah!

Two things, one old, one new.

1. In Ottawa, I misheard a bar’s name in the most delightfully inappropriately way ever.  Are you ready?  The bar is Chez Lucien, I somehow heard Schindler’s Keg.  Tada!

2. I have a list of things I will do instead of tapping out when I’m getting choked:

  • Make a gagging sound like a baby.
  • Space out completely and turn purple.
  • Say, “Tap tap.”

Yes, I forgot what I was doing and got distracted, while being choked.  And I am a Master’s student.  I am a licensed driver.  I could go out an have a baby, and the doctor would let me keep it.  Christ!


Filed under grappling, stupid jokes, Uncategorized

Just a flip of the hip

So!  Grappling is really picking up!  I thought that it was going to be fairly low-key in terms of fitness, but it turns out Courtney (the instructor) was just trying not to scare the newbies away.  Today she made us do something innocuously called The Thirties, which sounds like it should involve dirt farming in the Depression, but is actually thirty burpees, thirty sit-ups, thirty squats, and thirty push-ups, repeat this three times.  It would be a lot more honest to call this thing The Nineties, is what I’m saying.

But then… then!  I finally learnt how to do an arm bar (I say finally in that first I heard this word a week ago and no one showed me how to do it until today, gawd).  An arm bar is when you grab a person’s arm and wrap your legs around their shoulder, essentially.

Also!  I finally have a move that might save me from a rapist!  Yay~!  It’s a flippy thing (I… I don’t know the terminology, yet).  Anyway, you get someone who is between your legs, and you flip them the crap over and suddenly you’re on top of them.  And I was totally doing it, actually pretty well.  I’ll have to practice a lot, and get heavier opponents, but the mechanics are all there.  So this is why you ladies should come on out to grappling with me.  Yes, you get covered in other people’s sweat and maybe touch more crotches than you’re comfortable with, but you learn skills that can be applied to those back-alley knife fights we all inevitably get into in the library profession (Dewey vs Library of Congress: the eternal struggle).

(Oh wait!  It’s called a sweep.  There’s the terminology: sweep.)

In other news entirely, I bought a super-cute new dress that, now that I’m at work in it, I can see is definitely way too short.  I’m having fun getting comfortable with short skirts, definitely, but I’m pretty sure this one is too short (for work, I mean, not a night on the town or whatever).  Whoops!  Oh well, at least I work behind a desk.

Yeah, I’m updating from the reference desk.  It’s pretty slow, so I don’t think it’s too terrible of me.  STOP JUDGING ME!

In other “stop judging me” news, it’s almost the end of my five-day weekend and I still haven’t done any of my homework, and in fact haven’t even figured out what any of my homework is.  That would entail, like, opening BLS and blahblahblah I’m already bored.  I loved from the various syllabi, a B- grade in class participation meant that your contributions to class discussions would have to actively detract said discussions.  Who wants to give that a shot?  Just once?  Or did I already manage that by agreeing with myself on the first day of Collections?  (Shannon… Day One… Failed)

Leave a comment

Filed under exercise, grappling, school

The end of an era! (…of bootcamp)

We had our very last bootcamp today!  Does this event warrant an emoticon?  Yes, yes I believe it does.  OK, here it comes… 😦

Anyway, because it was our last bootcamp, Gerald decided it was finally time to get “intense”, because he is a delightful crazy man.  Wheelbarrows were involved, and mine have improved!  Yay!  We ran stairs a little, of course, to warm up.  Some sort of crazy rabbit-jumping thing all over some random pier on the Waterfront.  And what final bootcamp experience would be complete without piggybacks?  Also, plenty of compliments to me and all my increased badassed-ness and delightful weight-loss.  Whee~!

So, my closing thoughts on bootcamp are that is was ridiculously fun.  I seriously recommend it to anyone reading this, whatever your fitness level.  The first day I thought I was going to die, and it’s not like the stuff got easier, because as you get better you have to keep pushing yourself further, but once you realize how great it feels to hit that sweet point, you really want to keep going there.  I’m still a huge schlub compared to everyone else in the bootcamp, but it doesn’t even matter because it’s fun to try.  And a small, tight-knit group like that is really great to be involved with, because they actually care about whether you succeed or not.  If I’m still in Halifax next summer, I’m totally doing it again.

And I’m totally going to see them in kickboxing on Thursday, anyway.  Does this deserve another emoticon?  Two in one post?  Oh, let’s go nuts!  🙂

Leave a comment

Filed under bootcamp, exercise


So, I’ve finally gone back to class, like all the cool kids do.  Maybe soon I’ll, like, set foot inside the bookstore, and the university experience will be complete.  Anyway!  My nine-hour-class-day went off without a hitch.  It was actually quite delightful!  The final three hours (Knowledge Management) looks to be, frustratingly, quite engaging and interesting, so I won’t even get to pass out at the back or anything.  It’s just because somehow I got to shoehorn in my rambling conspiracy theory about metaphors and politicians.  Dammit, Marina, do not encourage me in these things!

I did bellydancing in the middle, during lunch, which was so helpful as a brain break, but every time I thought about it I started subconsciously gyrating and doing snake arms in class, which was probably less than helpful.  Let’s say I’m increasing my mystique?

I wore my sassy fedora downtown today, and so many people smiled at me.  I should save it for days when I really need cheering up.  But that would be boring, so I’ll just wear it all the time.

Today was my lightweight day, with only one class that’s a measly three hours long.  Yawn.  Collections management, is what it was.  Somehow almost all of you were in this class, despite the fact that no one was talking about it.  I thought it was going to be me, alone in a room with Joyline.

I’ve been looking over my schedule, and as it stands, once things pick up in October, I’ll actually have four jobs, and three fitness classes (I had to drop Pilates, sadly), and those actual class things I’m apparently expected to do.  Also, homework, and an awesome social life I don’t plan on neglecting.  Maybe if I start sleeping now, I’ll have it all saved up, and I can just stay awake for two straight months?  Ah, but I kid!  I love a challenge!

Leave a comment

Filed under dancing, school, work

Grappling! (for reals this time)

OK, grappling actually worked out this time, as in I showed up and people were there and at various times I had crotches in my face and was put in a choke hold.  I learned to tap out!

But, let us begin at the beginning.  Somersaults!  (I seriously thought this word was spelled summersault.  How have I never spelled that word before?)  We learned how to do, like, defensive somersaults.  Repeatedly.  I was really glad I didn’t drink at the Library House party last night.  Then!  Submission holds!  It’s this really weird mental block, putting someone into a submission hold.  Like, there’s the north-south position, in which I basically squish my partner’s face with my crotch, and I apologize for being mean, but that means I’m holding back, so I apologize for not squishing her face with my crotch hard enough.  I had similar problems with kneeling on her the chest… and kneeing her in the ass… and choking her.  Apparently it’s something you get over really quick!  The problem was, I always went first.  If she had smacked me around a little first, I may have been less inhibited.

(The one thing I had no problem with: lying face-down on her stomach and putting my arms out like an airplane.  Because that is just goddamned fun is what that is.)

Anyway, after that delightful endorsement, Courtney (the instructor) says that she’s negotiating to get September free for her women Sunday grappling students.  So come on down and get over any personal space issues you may have!  Facebook group exists here!

Leave a comment

Filed under grappling

Dingle! / Pilates!

Yes, both those titles deserve a goddamned exclamation point.  I’m an exclamatory person, OK?  You wanna fight about?!

Erica and I went to this trial Pilates class this morning, and we got to use the reformer machine, which was huge and complicated and definitely fun.  It was a lot of, like, OK, do this, do this, are you still doing the first thing, are you remembering to engage your abs at the same time, is the small of your back raised FOR THE LOVE OF GOD RAISE THE SMALL OF YOUR BACK also put your heels together, now put them apart.  Anyway, I was certainly using muscles I haven’t used before, and it’s a really interesting challenge, so I’d like to keep doing it.  I have to say, though, I think bootcamp has ruined me for a lot of other things in certain ways.  The Pilates instructor referred to an exercise as particularly “fatiguing” and I was thinking, like, “Lady, I am nowhere near crying.”  Apparently my only criteria for tiring now is tears.  Lovely!

Anyway, bootcamp at the Dingle was awesome.  We were running up the super-steep hill to the tower, then running up the stairs at the bottom of the tower in various ways.  Gerald was very nice to me!  To get me up the hill at one point, he yelled “Dig deep sweetie, and I’ll tell you a se~cret!”  The secret was, as it turns out, “You may try to hide it, but I can tell there’s less of you under that shirt.”  Aw!  So I got bootcamp props for badass fitness.  I still can’t run up a hill worth crap, of course, but it’s the effort that counts.

To kill a lazy afternoon, I went through my closet and pulled everything that’s too big for me now/just plain ugly.  Four garbage bags worth!  Man, I own way too much crap.

An old but funny story: my friend (the delightful Michelle) sent me a postcard from her European vacation; the postcard had a picture of the Rosetta Stone.  When I opened my mailbox and saw this little Rosetta Stone thing in amongst the flyers, I had this moment of absolute, blind panic.  “This is it,” I thought.  “The junk mail people have hit the perfect advertising algorithm.  They can see my soul.”  Then I turned it over and it was a postcard from Michelle.  Crisis averted!  (… for now)

Library House party soon!  Should I start drinking now?  Or is that just the rule for bars?  Bars and court.

Leave a comment

Filed under bootcamp, exercise, fucking inanity

Ottawa! / Hurricane flying is the best way to fly

I took a Labour Day Weekend trip to Ottawa to visit the fabulous Katherine.   This involved a flight booked for Saturday, which, as it turned out, was a flight booked for Hurricane Tropical Storm Earl Day.  This had numerous, numerous disadvantages, but also a number of awesome, unexpected upsides:

  • Running to the shuttle in the storm because the taxis wouldn’t answer my calls was really, really fun, and I dried off during my three hour wait at the airport.  Also, although the storm blew my skirt up a few times, no one saw because public indecency only occurs when there’s a public around.
  • A downed tree, wrapped in Christmas lights, getting dragged out of the street by a legion of strapping young men: very entertaining sight from the shuttle.
  • The greatest advantage: No lines at the airport!  Seriously, I have never, never had such an experience.  The check-in area was, like, a bunch of bored airline workers standing around at their respective posts and literally only me, alone on the other side of room.  No one in front of me at security, either.  I think every other flight but mine was cancelled.

Ottawa itself was also faboo.  Katherine is trying to sell me on the idea of moving there after I graduate, and I can definitely go for it.  We had excellent food and carousing (THIS IS CODE FOR WINE).  I bought a sassy new fedora that I will be wearing absolutely everywhere, so Halifax had better be prepared to get sick of that really fast.

We did a few tourist things.  The most important thing to me was to see the cats of Parliament Hill.  I could pretty much just chase kitties around all day, so that was exciting.

My favourite part of the trip (other than just plain seeing Katherine, of course) was Trailer Park Bingo.  Holy crap, we need this in Halifax.  We actually need to import the bingo-caller, because he really makes the event, but an equally funny MC would be great.  For those who don’t know, it’s bingo played in this dive-y bar (called Zaphod Beeblebrox, because what else would it be called?) for crap prizes bought at Value Village like a dashboard hula girl, Spice Girls poster, Titantic on VHS, etc.  The bingo-caller is a comedian with gold teeth who gets progressively drunker and more abusive.  Oh yeah!  Apparently, the grand prize winner gets to throw a bowling ball through a TV!  We didn’t stay till the end, because it goes really late, but anyway it’s the greatest thing ever.

Really fun thing about bingo: you really want to win, because winning is fun, but the prizes are so awful you really don’t want to win.  So you get closer and closer to bingo with the weird, ambivalent excitement, of, like, “Yes, yes!  Just call B6 and I’ll win!  Then I’ll get the… toy aquarium… with fake fish action… Yay?”

In other news entirely today, I decided to cut off my cable to cut costs/perhaps make better use of time this year (who I am kidding the time will be pissed away on the internet).  I’ll probably get annoyed when I want to watch TV, but that’s just tough cookies for me, now isn’t it.  My DVD player is dying a final death, so that means my TV is literally doing nothing right now.  It’s like a paperweight that’s too big for paper.  The solution to this is to get a new freaking DVD player, but that’s just too sensible.

Maggot update: No maggots spotted since last week.  Of course, I’ve been away since last weekend.  Shut up, I take my victories where I can.

1 Comment

Filed under shenanigans, travel