So, I was walking home from the grocery store last night with my little old lady trolley and some girl sarcastically yelled at me from her car window “SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT!”
As usual, you always think of the best comebacks, like, two minutes later. What I should’ve yelled back at here was:
“I’m not saving the environment, I’m just POOR! However, the contents of my trolley actually have no animal products, which numerous sources suggest reduces your carbon footprint. To be honest, that’s not actually why I make vegan choices, but it’s a benefit nonetheless. I’ve actually sort of lost track of why I buy vegan. There are so many good reasons. Health, maybe? I’m really into health, lately. If you read my blog, you’d know that. Miss?
“Walking to the grocery store is also good for my health. Did you see the hill I just walked up? There were a lot of reasons to walk up that hill. It was good for my health. It was good for the environment. I got to see various cats and pretty houses. But most saliently is, as I said, that I’m motherfucking poor.
“Anyway, my point is you’re mean. Please don’t yell at people from cars. Love, Shannon.”
Maybe my problem is my regal bearing and impeccable taste? When people see me, they figure, “Well, if she’s not rolling around town in a solid gold Maserati with diplomatic plates, it must be by choice. She must be trying to save the environment.”